Maybe I am just getting old, but every time I hear people say this, it makes my skin itch… not because I don’t like authenticity and honesty, but because these seem to be the current buzz words used to get you out of trouble, to absolve you from the responsibility of hurting another person.

I have been watching a lot of holiday movies lately (yes, holiday, as they started well before Thanksgiving). The theme currently seems to be for everyone to “follow your heart” no matter what happens. At first blush, this seems fabulous! I fully believe that we all need dreams to spur us on to greatness, to help us move beyond mediocrity.

Then it happens… I notice people start with their horrible behavior and words toward each other. It sure doesn’t end as perfectly as in the movies, that’s for sure. Seldom is there a perfect little ending, everyone happy and satisfied with their resolved conflict. I recently watched one person telling another person their “honest” opinion, and the second person was devastated. The first person couched the opinion with “just speaking honestly from my heart” as if that is supposed to make it right.

What happened to love and kindness? What happened to “speaking the truth in love”? What happened to “loving others as ourselves” and “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Is the Golden Rule too antiquated?

The other day, I was in traffic near a car with a Santa-hat-wearing-gray-haired-rude lady, and I do use that term “lady” quite loosely. We were in a section of this road that had two lanes but soon would have one, as the right lane would become a turn lane for a large neighborhood. She sped up in the right lane to cut off the mini-van in front of me, long before her lane would end, and then promptly put on her brakes. We were now all slowing down quickly. My husband describes this kind of traffic as similar to walking in the mall around the holiday shopping season… trying not to walk on everyone’s heals.

The mini-van soon made a right turn into the next neighborhood, which now put me directly behind this “lady.” I was looking at the driver trying to figure out what was going on, as we were now 15 MPH BELOW the speed limit, and getting slower each time her brake lights would shine.  As she kept putting on her brakes, I now felt like I was trying to stay off her heals in the mall. She rolled down her window and put her slender fist in the air with one finger extended. I had to really look to see if she was trying to tell me, “Jesus is the way” or “You’re number 1!” Hmmm… what in the world was her problem?!

Well, as fate would have it, she turned on to my street, so I was still right behind her. She kept applying her brakes, so I followed suit. She pulled over half way down my street. I half expected her jump out of her car and chase me down. I continued to my house and sat in my driveway waiting… and reflecting. I started laughing… my honest reaction would have been to stop and yell at her, to tell her what I thought of her driving habits. By the standards that seem quite clear in our society, I would have been justified. I would have been authentic and honest in my words toward her, which makes me even more justified, right?

As I recounted the event later to my husband, it surprised me how much this had controlled my emotions. Such a short encounter, yet she had fully controlled me… until the end when I refused to stop and have further conflict with her. I didn’t like this part of my “authentic and honest self.” I am glad that I didn’t follow my heart that day. It would have been ugly! My husband said, “Well, its a good thing that she didn’t get under your skin.” OK, smart guy. Point taken.

I would just like to go on record to say that being authentic and honest isn’t the only consideration. We need to also remember kindness and love. For those of us who have a Faith based in Christ, we need to look at His example and take that to heart. Don’t forget that following our hearts might not be the best, as they are “sinfully wicked” and might lead us in the wrong direction. We need to surrender ourselves to the Holy Spirit on a continual basis so that our steps can be directed. This will help move us away from our “authentic and honest” reactions, and probably keep us out of a whole lot of trouble!

What are your thoughts? Let’s start the conversation! Merry Christmas!