I have never been so happy to be in a new year as I am now. Anybody with me? What a huge mess, one trial after another. I would wake up on a regular basis during the last year and wonder if it was all a horrible dream. Has the whole world lost it’s mind?

One night in a dream, I had a clear picture in my mind of being in the middle of the ocean with huge waves surrounding me, threatening to envelop me… and I hate swimming in the ocean! My swimming skills aren’t that strong, and you can’t see what is beneath you. I love the ocean; I just don’t like to be IN the ocean. This nightmare has stayed with me often through this year. I’m not one to put much stock in dreams, but the dream that feels like it is on the continuous repeat cycle? This one has caught my attention.

Mathew 14 has hit my radar again. Within this chapter is a story that I have read so many times, but now it hits me even at a much deeper level. About half way through the chapter, the disciples were fishing in the middle of the night. They saw someone walking on the water toward them and thought it was a ghost. Frightening for anyone, right? It was Jesus! He spoke out to them and calmed them down. Peter said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water” (verse 28, NKJV). Jesus said, “Come.” So, what did Peter do? He jumped out of the boat and started walking toward Jesus! In a few moments, though, he noticed that the wind was picking up, which was making the waves grow… and he started sinking. Jesus stretched out his hand and caught the sinking disciple.

After reading through this story again, I completely related to Peter. It fit perfectly with the dreams and pictures I was seeing in my mind. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I can walk with confidence in the middle of the storm. When my eyes start concentrating on the storm around me, when the waves feel overwhelming, I feel myself starting to sink. I feel my faith starting to shake. I can feel the fear starting to choke me.

I came across an artist who drew a picture of Jesus with an outstretched hand. The caption said, “Keep your eyes on Me.” The eyes in this picture are piercing! I printed this picture off and posted it above my desk as a continual reminder to keep my eyes on Jesus. This is when I started really looking for the hidden blessings amid the waves of 2020. Here are a few:

1. Time with Traci. The year started out with one of my best friends getting a diagnosis that she was not wanting. The past few years of fighting cancer was coming to a conclusion. Just weeks after being deemed “cancer free,” she was given 2-4 weeks to live because it was all back. What a shock! Traci has been my friend for about 25+ years. She was my mentor when I became a school counselor, and my dear friend. She was the kind of friend who would give it to you straight, and even if we didn’t see each other for some years, we could pick up the conversation right where we left off. So, where was the blessing in this? I had the blessing of spending a little time every day, from minutes to hours, with her in these final weeks. 2-4 weeks turned into 10. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we reminisced. She told me about a few books she had planned to write, so I pulled out the computer and we got busy as quickly as we could, and as long as her strength would last. I was with her even as she took her last breathe. What a miracle, to watch a person transition from this life to the next! See you soon, dear friend! Heaven is going to have a beautiful reunion when the time is right! (Traci’s first book, I Am Strong: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RGYGJ4D)
2. Time off. I have worked most of my life. I worked through college, worked as a teacher, a school counselor, and as a corporate trainer. I have also completed several degrees while continually working full time. I am used to being super busy. In March, our entire training department was sent home to work. This took some adjustments, especially since my husband and I worked for the same company, same department, but we figured it out. Then came the beginning of April, and we were both furloughed. I have to be honest… the fear that washed over me was overwhelming at first. I truly felt like a wave had crashed over me. By the end of August, Dave and I were both severed from the company. Now what? Where is the blessing in this? God gave me so much time to work on writing and producing prayer journals for those who need some structure and just don’t know where to start. As of this morning, 8 of my 12 journals in this series are published on Amazon. My prayer is that as we depend on God to supply our needs, to work out the details, I will keep going with the projects in front of me. Will I go back to work? Maybe. Will I continue to write and design/produce, most definitely! And I will continue to pour myself into the ministries at my church. Oh, and it really helped to turn my TV off. Don’t get me started there! (My series of Prayer Journals: Praying in Response to God’s Words https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08RD8HPTJ?ref_=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_tpbk&binding=paperback )
3. Viral reactions. Everyone has a reaction to the craziness of this year, the fear of the unknown, and the anger of our lives being so severely disrupted. It feels like good is being labeled as evil, and evil is being labeled as good. Friends are turning on friends, and our communities are becoming divided and driven by fear. God! Where are you? What is going on? Where is the blessing in this? The lessons I have learned this year as so many, and the growth I have felt as a Christian is so profound. I have had the blessing of spending more time with my parents; more time studying and learning from scripture and from some of my favorite authors; devoting more time to ministries at my church; spending more time with my husband. Even in the middle of this whirling sea of craziness, Dave and I have had the opportunity to take a few quiet vacations, time to talk, time to dream. We haven’t had to stop living, but we have had to slow down. There is such a sweetness to taking time to smell the roses, right? And there is something so amazing and freeing about coming to the realization that we are not in control, and that God is still on His throne. Stop looking at the waves. Keep your eyes on Jesus!

Wow- I could keep writing about this all day. I was talking to a group of people at my church on Sunday, and as we paused to pray, I mentioned how glad I was to end the year and start a new year… a fresh start. But, being honest, I wouldn’t trade the lessons I have learned, or the experiences that drove me to my knees.

What will this new year bring? I have no idea. But I do know that I can’t do this on my own. The waves are too big and I start to sink. I will need to refocus my eyes to be on Jesus. I will pray for the Holy Spirit to give me the strength and courage to refocus daily and to depend on the strength that only can come through faith in Jesus.

Here’s to the new year. I pray for blessings beyond measure for you, my friends! Keep your eyes on Jesus!