As I write, my sweet Ellie is winding down her time with me. The amount of grief I am experiencing is surprising me. I was really sad when we lost Daisy last month, but for some reason, this one is hitting me harder. How can I be so emotional about my pets? And I am wondering when these tears will stop.

I miss her already. I miss her bark. I miss her wagging tail. I miss her bouncing greetings. I miss her begging for food. I miss her expressions of unconditional love. I miss who she has been for the past twelve years. All of those characteristics have subsided, but her eyes still watch me like a hawk. She still licked my knee this morning as I was petting her. I know she must leave, but selfishly, I don’t want her to go.

So, I’ve been praying about this. I can’t find chapter and verse, but I think that my grief is seen by my Savior. I know that He cares about what hurts my heart. And it fills me with such thankfulness. I am thankful that I had twelve years with my cutie. She has brought so much joy to our home. She is a gift that God knew I needed.

As I continue to grieve this process, I will continue to focus on the gift that Ellie is to our family. Thank you, God, for giving her to us. Thank you for allowing me to be her human mom. And I pray for peace for her and for me as she finishes her time with me. My memories will always be filled with love from a little scruffy fur ball. I am looking forward to the times of smiling and laughing at the fun stories we will tell, and I know that the tears will slow down. I am continuing to focus on gratitude. I am so thankful.